Chapter 106

This time, she had been dreaming for a long time. A dream repeated several jumping scenes, and almost repeated all the experiences from birth to the present. Therefore, she was extremely tired, and fell asleep in one sleep, and actually slept for two days. When he woke up, he was top-heavy and his stomach was empty, and his whole body was limp. When he opened his eyes, there was actually someone beside him, and it was a man.

  She stared wide-eyed and looked over, her face changed with fright. At this moment, Pei Nanming also opened his eyes, and smiled at her, "I'm awake, do you feel better?"

Ruan Xi looked at him and felt a little strange. After sleeping, it seemed that those depressed and angry emotions calmed down a lot. Moreover, although those dreams were good and bad, the feeling of dreaming was not bad at all. It seemed to be able to make people Completely relaxed, "Why are you here?" Isn't it time to go to work at this time?

  Pei Nanming touched his nose, pointed out the window with his chin, "It seems that you shouldn't ask me this, this is my territory."

  Ruan Xise said with a cold face, "I'm leaving now."

  She got up, but her body was too weak, and she fell to the ground after feeling dizzy.

  Pei Nanming quickly put his arms around her waist and hugged her in his arms, "You're sick, so don't move around."

Ruan Xi struggled a bit, but couldn't get away, so she stopped wasting her efforts in vain, and leaned on his chest obediently, "It's already come to this point, what else do you want, I know you hate me and the Ruan family. I can't control anything, because I can't even get my own freedom. But, there is always an end to everything..." And, you really succeeded in forcing me to hate you...

  Ruan Xi's calmness this time was beyond Pei Nanming's expectation, and made him feel cold, but he still listened to her continue talking calmly.

"I was sent to an orphanage since I was a child. For a while, I almost forgot who I was, and my mother had committed suicide. I always thought she would come to pick me up again, so the two best friends who treated me at the beginning When a little friend was about to escape from the orphanage and asked me if I wanted to go together, I chose to stay. In fact, at that time, I might not really know that my mother would not come again, but I always hugged her in my heart. with such a fantasy."

   This is the first time that Ruan Xi told someone about her childhood, but she never thought that this person would be Pei Nanming.

  At this moment, Pei Nanming felt pain in his heart, that soft spot seemed to be pinched hard.

"Later, the two little friends really ran away, and I never saw them again. I stayed alone in the orphanage, and the other children bullied me for being shy and not talkative. In fact, I didn't know what to say. What do you say, my mother clearly said that she loves me, she said she wants to watch me grow up, but she left suddenly, I don’t know what can be relied on in this world. I didn’t know who my father was since I was a child , Mom never said it, and then she finally said it, but committed suicide on the third day after she said it."

  Ruan Xi became more and more expressionless as she talked, do you hate it? I don't hate, because I was too young at that time, I didn't know what hatred was, but I didn't understand why my mother who had promised to accompany me would suddenly renege on her promise.

"Later, Uncle Pei came. He was so young and handsome. When I first saw him, I thought he was amiable. At that time, I thought it would be great if this was my father. At that time, many children gathered together to steal Look at him. In fact, everyone knows that people who come to the orphanage are either donating money or picking children for adoption. I have seen their eyes picking children, just like picking Chinese cabbage in the market, they want to pick high-quality ones Come and ask for it."

   Speaking of which, Ruan Xi smiled. When Jiang Yi ran away with Ah Bei, she didn't want to be picked around like this, right? Ah Bei has parents, but he doesn't know why he was thrown by his parents at the gate of the orphanage. Ah Bei is just as stubborn as her and wants to wait for his parents to pick him up. They all had the same simple thoughts, thinking that if they were taken away, they would never be able to wait for their parents again, so Jiang Yi ran away with Ah Bei, but they didn't know it, and they would not be able to see him if they ran away. Parents.

  Pei Nanming listened to Ruan Xi's rambling, and for the first time in his life, his heart was so painful that it almost broke. He knew that Ruan Xi was forbearing, and that Ruan Xi was stubborn. From childhood to adulthood, had she ever said a word? Always so cautious and obedient, in Pei's house, he was afraid of making mistakes, so he insisted on not making even the slightest mistake.

   Is this the fear of being rejected and abandoned again? It's not that he doesn't understand her thoughts at all, but he hates, hates her mother, hates her coming, and what he hates the most is that he fell in love so easily in hatred.

"I didn't expect that Uncle Pei really came to pick me up. At that time, I didn't know how I was feeling. I only knew that I was going to have a new home. There would be many people who loved me at home. I didn't have to talk to many people anymore. Children grab things and don’t have to worry about hiding alone and crying secretly because of fear in the night of thunder and rain, I was so looking forward to and thankful at that time.”

At this time, Ruan Xi laughed, a little happy and a little bit disappointed, "Later, as I expected, not only did I have a family, but I also had a family older than me. Take care of my brother Nanming." Speaking of this, Ruan Xi's blurred eyes slightly gathered, and she looked at Pei Nanming, "I saw you for the first time, you were reading a book, and you were cold and indifferent at that time, but you were so beautiful that I felt envy."

"You were sitting on the balcony, and it was raining outside. At that time, you were holding a book in your hand. I looked at you through the rain curtain, and you just glanced at me lightly. At that time, I felt that you were far away. Since then, every time Every time I walk in front of you, I feel inferior for no apparent reason. At first I didn’t know why, but then I realized, it’s because you have everything I want, a harmonious family, parents, excellent grades, smart Mind, what I envy, what I yearn for and what is beyond reach, you have all of them..."

  As she spoke, tears fell again, and Pei Nanming was worried by the expression of crying and laughing.

"I'm really, really envious. I always think, if I'm a little more obedient and closer to you, will God hang down on me and give me a little bit of charity. I'm always very careful and never dare to be like others. Children are as self-willed, although sometimes I really want to be self-willed, but I am afraid, I am afraid that if I am self-willed, you will all want me... I really don't want to be abandoned again..." Speaking of this, Ruan Xi's smile gradually faded away. Bitterly, "God still doesn't want to take pity on me. I didn't expect that I would harm Aunt Ruan Ting. No, I'm not qualified to call her Auntie, as you said."

  Although Ruan Ting was not sincerely kind to her, she never treated her badly. No matter what the reason was for Ruan Ting to endure so hard, she felt that she should be grateful.

"I finally became the daughter of the person you hate the most, even though it was not my choice, and I was partially responsible for Aunt Ting's death, even though that was really not my intention. Perhaps, there is nothing wrong with you hating me, But, Brother Nan Ming, sometimes I really feel wronged, especially when I am covered in bruises. I can’t choose any of these things. I did nothing deliberately. Why did I bear the consequences? So many years of punishment are not enough to wash away your sins, not enough to calm your resentment? Brother Nanming, I am tired, tired, and I really can't go on anymore... If, my death can really make you Feeling better, I can die now without hesitation."

Finally, Pei Nanming couldn't restrain himself anymore, and said, "Since you can't hold on, don't hold on anymore. You know that my hatred will not diminish, and your sins can't be washed away by me for a few years." , and the Ruan family is doomed to collapse. You can't change anything, and no one can save you. The Ruan family is like this, and you are even more like this."

  Ruan Xi described her as haggard, and Pei Nanming's words hit her weak point even more. These thoughts seemed to have lingered in her mind countless times, and after he mentioned them, they became clearer and stronger.

  Yeah, I can't even save myself, I can't get the freedom I want, I can't get the life I want, and I live in Pei Nanming's hatred every day, as if it exists for him to vent his hatred. This cognition made her feel that her life was meaningless, it would be better to go crazy and die.

  She stared at Pei Nanming blankly, her pale face was full of fragility and despair.

  Outside the door, Tang Wenyi gently pushed the door and came in, holding a bowl of clear porridge in his hand, just seeing Ruan Xi's appearance, he felt a little sad, and couldn't help sighing secretly, Ruan Xi was ruined!

   "How did you do what I asked you to do?" Qin Zhiran sat on the bar counter with a cigarette between her fingers, her thighs in black stockings raised high, she completely lost the angelic innocence of the past, and just looked glamorous and lonely.

   "What Ms. Qin ordered, I naturally have to do it with all my heart." The man next to Qin Zhiran, in his forties, slightly fat, stared at Qin Zhiran's thigh with a salivating face.

He has been coveting Qin Zhiran for a long time, but it is a pity that Qin Zhiran's eyes are higher than the top, and he has not been able to find a chance. In the morning, among other things, just talking about her appearance and the title of Pei Nanming's fiancee made him feel itchy.

  Actually, if it wasn't for Qin Zhiran's willingness to sacrifice his appearance*, he wouldn't have had the courage and determination to do this by betting his own future. However, what he likes most in this life is prostitution. With his position as a pharmacist in the hospital, it is too difficult to get the opportunity to prostitute Qin Zhiran, and he is reluctant to give up this opportunity. To die under the peony flower is to be a ghost, this is the biggest creed in his life. Of course, he was willing to do this, and there were other considerations, but Qin Zhiran didn't know about it.